I have a lot of stuff I don’t need, and I don’t have any room for said stuff.  So there is now a growing collection on my dining room table of items that are going to the yard sale being held by Midsouth Pet Rescue in the perimeter mall.  Allegedly this event is taking place this weekend, but who knows, really.  All I know is that I can get rid of superfluous things while feeling like a good person because I am helping abandoned and surrendered animals. 

Among my collection of items I’m donating:

• A cookbook called The Four Ingredient Cookbook.  It has a delicious looking picture of phyllo stuffed with something on the cover.  But oh, guess I didn’t take the time that all the units are in the METRIC system, so this cookbook is dead to me.  I can’t get mixed up in all that.
• The Lost board game.  I am not the only one who got sucked into this racket.  It is in no way a Lost trivia game (which I would kick your ASS at by the way).  It’s called Lost, but it should be called Survivor, because it’s really about strategy.  It’s more of a Monopoly or Battleship type game.  (Note: I never play either of those games, but you can infer from my comparing The Lost Game to them that in my mind they are boring and excruciating.)
• A drinking glass that has a picture of The Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz.  OK, that’s a lie.  I couldn’t bear to give it up.  I used to always drink from it at my grandma’s house at dinnertime.  Speaking of my dinnertime at my grandma’s house, to this day I associate Tom Brokaw with fried chicken.  You can consider that a compliment, Tom, because MaMa’s fried chicken is ridonk.  (I heard that on How I Met Your Mother and I’m running with it.  Since I still fully believe that Charles made up "ridonkulous" I feel part ownership for all things ridonkulous-related.)
• Approximately 2% of the clothing that I don’t wear and will never wear again.  Don’t worry, the other 98% of my clothes from 1999-2005 are safe under my bed and probably in my mom’s garage too.  Because you just never know when the need will arise for stretchy black pants with glitter all over them, right?